Que Pasa in Cabo?

February 4, 2019
BY: DAVID FLORES

911 Is Your Refrigerator Running? Then you better go catch it! Remember how as kids we would make those stupid calls to strangers and then hang up and burst into laughter? Well, so maybe you were a goody two shoes and you didn't do that. Bully for you.

Last year a total of 520,545 calls were answered by local 911 operators and of that, no fewer than 38,681 were jokesters. 4,264 were to report traffic accidents, and 76% of the whole total were just calls from Chatty Cathies who called to say, well, not much. Candidates for 911 remedial school.

Authorities would like to take this occasion to suggest 911 be used responsibly, to support citizens in urgent situations, and please don't clog up lines that may be needed for real important stuff.

Like, do you have Prince Albert in the can? Well, let him out! Ha ha ha ha ha! We still think that's funny.

Well, That Explains A Lot Public Works has just announced they're going to send out two squads of road patchers in the last two weeks of this month. What, you didn't know we had a Public Works department, or you didn't know we had road patchers? We don't have Public Works people, but we do have a Secretariat of Urban Planning, Infrastructure and Mobility, we play rather fast and loose with the translation. And we actually do have road patchers. Who, turns out, use an old broom. Could be why the patch doesn't last more than a few days,

Luis Genaro Ruiz Hernández, honcho of this broom brigade, has asked the citizenry to report their favorite pothole at (612) 123 9416, Monday through Friday from 9:00 am to 3:00 pm,

Oh, and Genaro acknowledged that patching is not a permanent solution, only an alternative to resurfacing. No kidding.

No olvidar. We have several artsy fartsy events coming this month.

First, two in Todos Santos, just 40 minutes north of Cabo on the road to La Paz.  On Friday the 8th of this month, the 10th Annual Todos Santos Open Studio Tour will take place from 6:00 to 8:00 pm, with a Wine & Cheese Sneak Peek for 150 pesos or $10 USD. Visitors will be able to preview and purchase art at each location. Local singer Diver Guive will be playing live and there will be a special presentation by the Todos Santos Children's Art program. For information email: events@palapasociety.org or look up www.palapasociety.org

The next two days, Saturday and Sunday February 9 & 10, the event goes on with more locations to visit for 250 pesos or $15 USD. All proceeds will benefit programs for The Palapa Society of Todos Santos. Tickets can be purchased at El Tecolote Bookstore or by visiting their website at www.palapasociety.org

Then on Wednesday February 13, the East Cape town of Los Barriles will hold its annual Artist Studio Tour of Los Barriles from 10:00 am to 4:00 pm, with ticket sales ending at noon. Visitors can wander through the studios of more than 15 artists, with multiple artists present at each location.  A great day to see a variety of mediums, styles and materials and mingle with the locals.go to support kids programs on East Cape.Details and where to buy tickets at www.eastcapearts.com

More jazz Saxophonist Warren Hill is behind a new event in Los Cabos. Hill is owner/founder of Music Getaways. It will take place at the Hard Rock hotel in Cabo San Lucas’ Pacific side this April 25 to 28. This will all go down a week before the hotel opens to the public, so for sure there will be no bed bugs.

"Travel music destinations have proven to be a massive success so far, and we look forward to delivering more fantastic experiences to our guests in yet another beautiful vacation destination," gushed Warren Hill.

An additional festival hotel is right next door. The Nobu Hotel is co-owned by Robert de Niro, who just might be wandering the halls late at night in his bathrobe. But probably not.

Lined up so far are jazz musicians Boney James, Jeffrey Osborne, Jonathon Butler, Damien Escobar, West Coast Jam, Sax to the Max, and Warren Hill. www.loscabosjazz.com.

Another jazz festival. This November 7 to 11, last year’s Quivira jazz festival will be at a new venue. Last year it was held at the Quivira resort inside the Pueblo Bonito Sunset beach development, and this year it will move to the new Nobu hotel, owned by celebrity chef Nobu Matsuhisaand and Robert DeNiro. But we just told you about that hotel. Are we as redundant at these jazz festivals are becoming? The hotel includes a beachfront Nobu restaurant and is a blend Mexico and Japan. Oh good, whale tacos. Japanese eat whales and we eat tacos. This will work.

We have been promised a line-up of acts that doesn’t showcase the same artists who appear regularly from festival to festival, and with entertaining and enlightening seminars to boot.

Here we go again. Our chief of police announced that “very soon”, Los Cabos will have a bilingual tourist police force deployed. They will be patrolling downtown Cabo and in San Jose in the hotel zone.

At this point, several new officers who aleady graduated from the police academy and have passed all exams are taking English lessons and learning protocols of how to act or react to tourists’ needs.

These brand new cops will also wear distinctive uniforms from those of the regular police force.

We appreciate the intent, but the last time this was tried, they had to disband them because they couldn’t stop them from robbing the tourists. But that was then, and this is now, so let’s all hope for the best and give them a nice smiley welcome.

It’s Biker Week. About 600 bikers, (and their bikes), are expected to arrive in Los Cabos for the 4th annual Biker Week Los Cabos 2019. They’re coming from the U.S., mainland Mexico and even South America, said the spokes guy for the Moto Club Baja Riders.

The biker dudes, (and dudettes), will be roaring through our streets in La Paz, Todos Santos and Los Cabos for 3 days starting on Valentine’s Day. Some of them will arrive on the ferry from the mainland. Their first stop will be to the historic downtown of San Jose and will continue to Cabo San Lucas for a noisy welcome party.

On Saturday the group, without their precious bikes, will go on a whale watching tour. That evening they will hold their traditional Rock Fest from 2:00 pm to 2:00 am at the Walmart Plaza, where the City Club used to be. This event, they think, will attract some 1,500 people. Well, that’s a good idea. Always before they clogged up the downtown. Wal-Mart plaza is better for everyone.

There goes the neighborhood! Starting November 1st, two direct TUI airlines flights from London will arrive at the San Jose international airport, delivering hundreds of Limey tourists.

The flight will arrive – and leave – twice a week, from the Gatwick airport in London. TUI is promoting our tourist destination with 7, 10, 11 and 14 night packages. TUI is a Dutch airline based in Amsterdam.

Five new resorts And that’s just opening this year. There will be 2,463 new hotel rooms and suites coming on line. They will be the Hard Rock hotel, and the Grand Luxxe Los Cabos that will open phase by phase as it is a large resort with allegedly the world’s largest pool and artificial reefs. (Reeves?) The Hard Rock is on the Pacific side inside Diamante, Grand Luxxe is on the East Cape and is part of the Cryin’ Mayan chain of very aggressive timeshare properties. The way those people operate, they will have that sold out in about a week. And the place is so far out, you can’t even get up and walk back to town.

Next in line is the Four Seasons Resort at Costa Palmas in La Ribera, with a pretty forlorn half finished marina and a beach club.

Next is Nobu hotel, co-owned by actor Robert de Niro and chef Bonu Matsuhisa. Actually, de Niro was recently spotted enjoying a cold one at a quaint restaurant in Cabo Pulmo. He was not spotted wandering the halls of his new hotel in his bathrobe, that’s just a rumor we’re hoping to get started.

Last to be mentioned here is the Villa Valencia located on the corridor between Cabo and San Jose, with 260 suites and villas. This property is part of the Villa group that includes three hotels in Los Cabos, the Villa del Palmar, Villa La Estancia and Villa del Arco and the Villa del Palmar between Loreto and La Paz.

Cool! A sunken ship! It’s still not a well known attraction, but we have several scuttled ships around Los Cabos and La Paz. Near the Espiritu Santo island off the coast of La Paz are the Fao Ming, the Salvatierra and La Paz 03 boats that were sunk in 1999 to create artificial reefs.

On Magdalena island there’s a US Navy submarine under water, while in Cabo’s Pacific side the Lundemberg cargo ship was found in 2014 when hurricane Odile took away much of the beach sand and the ship suddenly appeared on the beach, only to sink from sight again when the ocean snatched it back. The waves give and the waves take away….

Airbnb will be taxed. Our Southern Baja governor announced that his administration and Airbnb have come to an agreement, so the internet lodging giant will pay 3 percent tax to our state on each and every booking.

The host will obviously add this to the rental fee, with the renter paying for it in the end. There are more than 6,000 rooms, condos and homes listed on Airbnb in our state and between January and July last year, 100,000 tourists used the app, which mightily pissed off the hotels.

Governor Mendoza stated that all the revenue from Airbnb rentals will be devoted to improve our tourists areas’ infrastructure. Hey! That’s the bed tax! It should go to promotion, not filling potholes. Well, filled up potholes improves our appearance to tourists. But it’s not promoting us.

Airport news. The San Jose international airport received 5 million passengers last year, and it’s now expanding to accommodate an expected 9 million in the coming years, as nearly 6,000 hotel rooms are under construction as you read this.

Of all the tourists and visitors welcomed, 70% are foreigners and the rest (30%, Bunky) are nationals, (Mexicans, Bunky). The airport’s main bottleneck right now is the immigration area, where there are few officers and the lines are long and slow. Actually, immigration officials are trying as hard as they can, by staffing up at peak times, but there is only so much room in the big immigration holding area to put the officials. They are also bringing in electronic helpers, but that seems to have hit a snag and is still pending.

Another dangerously deficient area is the departure lounge, with ridiculously long lines at the Starbucks.