Laundromats of Los Cabos

BY: GEORGE JOBB

When you spend half the year in a warm climate usually shorts are the most comfortable clothing to wear. At 60 or 70 percent humidity and 84° Fahrenheit, long pants just stick to you. So, when you blow out a few pairs of shorts they need to be replaced. What I do is find a pair of jeans that look okay then I have two legs cut off at the local dry cleaners. Heavy denim seems to last a lot longer than cotton shorts for about the same price.

It all sounds so easy; I usually spend a bit of time trying to find some jeans that are the correct waist size. I'm not too concerned with the legs as they're going to be cut off anyways. I then take them into the dry cleaners and tell them I would like them made into a pair of shorts. It's run by Chinese, probably the only one in Los Cabo. This is when it all starts. She says but why, they're new, nothing is wrong with them. Well I say, “I would like some denim shorts." But they're new, use old ones, she says again. I say, I don’t have old ones. There's then a long Ohhh Ok. I then tell her to make the inseam 13 inches. Low Lee says what, then, nooo 11 inches is normal, have to be 11 inches. I spend the next 10 minutes explaining that I'm Anglo Saxon and 6 foot 2 not Asian and 5 foot 2 as politely as possible. Yes, yes Low Lee says, then with the best poker face I’ve ever seen asks if I want both legs the same size. 

I really can't tell if she’s messing with me at this point. She had asked so sincerely. Of course, I want them the same size. Why would I want them different sizes? I don't know, she says, normal is 11 inches. Yes, yes yes both legs the same size, please. Ok she says, $2 USD extra for not standard size. Why would it be extra, it's the same pant leg just two inches longer. I've already marked it for you. Well extra time explaining it to me and then I have to explain it to seamstress. Extra time. But Low Lee, the seamstress is standing right here, beside us. Aaa yes but her English not so good. Her English is very good, I've spoken to her many times. I think it's better than yours. Ok ok seamstress not too smart, extra time. Ok Ok I said. When will it be ready? Oh, wee very busy, maybe tomorrow. Near closing time maybe, she says, with a smile and a wink.

After I left, I'm sure they both had a good laugh. Oh, round eyes very handsome and polite. You think he got hint when I say 13 inch is sooo big, not normal. You think he like Asian girls. Ha ha 

Great I got my shorts and what do you know, both the inseams are the same size. I'm off to try to buy some underwear now on account of half of mine are falling apart. After three months I’m down to six good ones. As in undamaged without any holes. That's just shaking hands with danger. You need at least 12 functional pares down here to get you through your average week or two. I'm sure I don't have to tell anybody that. Well, I start my search at Soriana on account of I'm being Canadian. I just like finding a good deal. Two pairs for a hundred pesos, not bad. They seem to be marked that they'll fit a 34 to 38 waist, well I'm 36 so that should be just fine. I get them home and try them on. I can't get my leg through the hole. These are like two sizes too small. I'm not giving up; I hop back on the bike and drive to Walmart. The clothing section is close to Pharmaceuticals, it shouldn't be hard to find. There they are, a full rack of underwear, all sorts of shapes and sizes. Again, I find some boxers that indicate they are large, I’m a 36-inch waist, I'm pretty sure that's considered large. I buy them for 150 pesos for two pairs, not a bad deal. I'm pretty excited by the time I get home to try them on. They're two or three sizes too large. They seem to have been made for a person at least 300 pounds. Now I have two sets of underwear that don't fit. And I'm too embarrassed to take them back. Being an adult, I would think I should be able to find underwear that fit. I was discussing this with neighbors the next day over a few cocktails and appetizers while the sun set on the sea of Cortez. There's a couple of skinny guys around and a couple of larger ones. I tell them my dilemma and ask if they would like to purchase the underwear, half price. Letting them know that I haven't even worn them yet, only tried them on. half price, Well, Dan all of a 170 lbs. said no. Shaking his head at me. My brother in law Fred at 250 lbs was interested but would have to ask his wife first. She might want them. Fortunately for me a friend's wife volunteered to take me to Costco and help me pick out some underwear. She opened one of the packages that appeared to be triple wrapped with the speed of a bobcat. It was held up to my waist and decided I would need the next size up. I was very grateful for this. I bought her a hot dog and a Coke and one of the nicest views of any Costco I’ve ever been to. That's the one in Cabo San Lucas, at least for now anyways.