Trigger alert for the article: This article discusses subjects that might be sensitive to the reader. Reader discretion is advised.
Have you ever noticed the special bond that Mexican fathers have with their daughters? By no means am I suggesting that other fathers don’t have special bonds with their little girls. What I am pointing toward is the uniqueness of how this bond is expressed in this part of the world. Globally, fathers are generally the tougher of the two parents in the typical archetypes. Equally, they also tend to have a softer approach and communication style with their daughters compared to their sons.
Here in Mexico, something different can be observed.
Fathers of daughters, especially when the latter are still young, collectively are more caring, sensitive, and emotionally expressive to them. The fathers here have a tendency to nurture and worry about them more than the average. These are tendencies that are usually instinctual but also experiential and are generally more prevalent in mothers in other cultures. Here, both parents tend to share this pattern.
This behavioral pattern can be attributed in part to the culture, but also to the fact that being a father of a daughter in Mexico encompasses different considerations in comparison to other places, as one would expect. This is my fifth year living in Mexico as a single female. Not once have I felt unsafe or threatened by a male while being alone. Yet that might not be YOUR reality or the situation of someone you know. My friend Margarita, who moved from Mexico City to La Paz, often expresses her appreciation of not having to “look over” her shoulder as a woman living here, something she didn’t have the leisure of doing in many areas in her hometown.
Why do Mexican fathers have a softer emotional connection to their daughters? In addition to the cultural norm, the subconscious and conscious fear for general female safety over generations has also contributed to this phenomenon. Even if Mexico is safe for most women in most places, the bitter taste of an era disappearing still lingers in many.
Changing these perceptions is important, as they shape the inner fears and actions of the masses. Mexico has been increasing its education and awareness and has brought forth multifaceted solutions to both create safer environments for women everywhere and shift the paradigm. For example, here in La Paz, during last month’s carnival, the city rolled out “Ángela Drink.” It’s an initiative introduced by the Instituto Municipal de las Mujeres (IMM) as a discreet safety protocol to combat gender-based violence, sexual harassment, and the “spiking” of drinks in nightlife venues. Establishments participating in the program have staff trained by municipal authorities to respond immediately, whether by escorting the person to a safe area, calling a secure ride, or contacting the Policía Violeta (gender violence police).
Programs like “Ángela Drink” provide a layer of protection to all the women in town and allow for fathers and mothers equally to feel safer and less worried when their daughters are out. In a town like La Paz, which is already safer for women, these programs help to break the stigma around the topic. Similar to insurance, it’s great to have, but we pray we never have to use it, and we probably won’t.
Female-based violence and abuse are unacceptable and despicable. All efforts toward their eradication are applauded and celebrated. We’d also love to keep the special bond that Mexican dads share with their daughters here; that, on the other hand, is appreciated and endearing.
Instructions on Ángela Protocol: If you are in a bar or restaurant in La Paz and you feel unsafe, harassed, pressured, or followed, or you suspect your drink was tampered with, go directly to a staff member (bartender, waiter, hostess, or security) and calmly say, “Quiero un Ángela Drink.” You do not need to explain further. Staff are trained to recognize this code and will discreetly move you to a safe space, help you contact someone you trust, arrange safe transportation, or call authorities if needed. Please remember to use this only in real situations where you genuinely feel at risk and your boundaries have been violated or ignored. This is a serious safety protocol. Like 911, this drink should be used responsibly.
Naailah Auladin for more on my work: www.naailahauladin.com or reach me on WhatsApp at: +52 612 141 8002
Naailah Auladin is a life and relationship doula in La Paz, specializing in guiding individuals and families during periods of emotional trauma, crisis, and mental unrest. She focuses on teaching and inspiring individuals to take responsibility and ownership in participating in their civic duties, prioritizing the well-being of the self first, as she believes that fostering and maintaining well-managed emotional, mental, and physical health is our primary civic duty.
