Happy Ending Makes Int’l Dive Bar List

And is proud of it
BY: DICK FITZWELL

Ever the promoter, Gene Ingram was quick to call us to brag his bar Happy Ending, made the list of the diviest dive bars in the world. He swears he didn’t solicit this status, that the British magazine popped up out of nowhere, but given his status as a local business that made good by working social media, it’s hard to tell.

Gene started the bar about 15 years ago, before TripAdvisor, Twitter, Snap Chat, and all the dozens of ways to market a business became big business. Gene would take pictures of people in his bar, immediately go into his office in the back room and post those pictures on Facebook. Then he would tell the people right then that they were on Facebook, and call and text their friends to look at them. And that’s how Happy Ending got its start. Because in those days Facebook was all young people, his clientele became young people.

Gene is in his 70s now, and the bar has morphed into a restaurant. Back in the day it was beer pong and beer. Now it’s become a full service bar and restaurant and T shirt shop. With a name like Happy Ending, it’s pretty easy to sell those shirts. Also changed is the average age of his customer, becoming older with time, just like real people.

Gene had a short, um, shall we say controversial, career on the vice squad in West Los Angeles. When he lost that job, he worked for nearly 30 years as enforcer of dirty tricks for Scientology, dealing with people who wanted to leave the cult. He says he’s retired now, but who knows? It’s his job to lie to the press and it’s our job to  pretend we believe him.

The bar is kind of divey, with  dollar bills and some bras hanging from the ceiling. He claims there’s $15,000 hanging there, it would be a shame to see the place go up in smoke again. Happy Ending mysteriously lost its roof in a big fire the night of a court ruling with one of the neighbors. Not to worry, they cleaned up the mess and carried on, never replacing the roof that was over much of the place.

The bar is on the main drag of Cabo San Lucas, across the street from Plaza El Ghosto, that incomplete eyesore. It’s close to the high end discos at the turn, so they get a lot of young people who tank up on the $2 beer, and then go to Pink Kitty or Squid Roe and stand around, then come back to Happy Ending for another cheap beer, and then migrate back to the pricey bars.

The food is very good, we recommend the super burrito that’s 8 inches long and 8 inches around for $8. There are cheeseburgers for $5, and a two buck hot dog. There are also $2 tacos and a huge 5 inch tall and 10 inch wide grilled chicken salad for $8. You won’t go away hungry and it’s good, too. Gene started out just selling a few tacos at the street to passersby, but soon the food took off and he built a kitchen.

Like we said, this is a dive bar, so it’s not fancy, but it does have its followers. He’s “sold” every bar stool for $500 which gets you a plaque with your name on it nailed to the back of the stool. If the stool owner comes in and you’re sitting on that stool, you’ve gotta move on.

The only negatives are there is no parking and the bouncers get pretty aggressive. They’ve been in more beefs than they should, the latest dust-up over two homosexuals they took a dislike to. But hey, it’s a dive. You know what you’re getting into going in: good cheap food, good cheap drinks, and a rather dicey atmosphere. Just like old time Cabo.