Daily News Blasts

April Fools' 2019 edition

These are some of what we call newsies. They are news items we have emailed to about 17,000 subscribers, one each couple of days. These people have signed up with us. To get your free newsies, sign up at http://bitly.com/ggblast. We do not misuse or abuse your email address, honest to God, double pinkie promise. We keep it secret

 

Shark Whales Are Here

This is the season to see the gentle giants. They aren't inquisitive and friendly like whales who enjoy being petted, but they don't run away, either. And they don't have teeth, because they are filter feeders. That means they open their very big mouth and let the prey fall in. To see that big mouth, does bring on thoughts of Jonah and the whale, but nobody has fallen in that we know of.

Johan spent three days and nights in a whale's tummy because he pissed off God, and when he asked forgiveness, God made the whale upchuck him back out and here came Jonah, good as new, if a little slimy.

So, if you're good with God, you can go swimming in the La Paz bay.

$422 Fine!!

40% of drivers use cell phones while driving, and cell usage is now the #1 cause of road accidents, more than even drunk driving.

The city has passed a bill 10 to 2 that punishes the use of cell phones with a fine of 8,449 pesos, which comes to more than $400 US.

24,000 people in Mexico die each year due to distracted driving, mostly young people between 15 and 29 years old. But that's not to say a young person couldn't take you out while not paying attention, so drive defensively.

Watch, But Don't Touch

The honcho at the State Commission for the Protection Against Sanitary Risks (COEPRIS), chastised hotels for not making use of treated gray water on their landscaping.

She also acknowledged there are many stinky sewer spills around Los Cabos and assured us her office is watching these. Coepris is "monitoring the situation" and they "intend to carry out an anticipatory work to prevent the situation from worsening"

"We are monitoring everything that has been spilling of sewage, especially those areas where spills are frequent, to have an anticipatory work," she concluded.

Monitoring? Watching? Anticipating? Really? May we suggest you pull on your rubber boots and your big rubber gloves and wade in and fix it?

 We're Supposed To Believe This?

Only 22 vaquita type of porpoises remain in the Sea of Cortez, a biology professor said yesterday, warning that the species could become extinct within months. The only place they can be found is the upper Sea of Cortez.

How do they know this? It's a big sea, how can they be sure they've count them all?

They are offering as proof of this "crisis" 22 vaquitas were heard over a network of acoustic monitors. Ha! Maybe some vaquita were there and had nothing to say.

Vaquita huggers want more vigilance by the Navy but after angry fishermen who are accidently catching the little dolphins in their nets attacked a ship, Navy vessels have been too scardy cat to stop the illegal fishing.

Hot Tip For Foreigners Living Here

The tourist assistance center, CATAC, is serving the needs of about 11,000 tourists a year for problems like loss of documents, complaints about a service or product bought, and help with police reports.

The people there speak English, it's handy right on the marina, there's plenty of parking to the side, but there is one catch. They only serve tourists, not foreigners who live here. So, get your story straight before going in; you are visiting, not living. Even if you're reporting a home robbery, this nice state agency can help you, just be sure to say you live most of the time in the United States.

Going to Catac sure beats our almost non existent American consulate or the icky dirty police station where nobody will speak English to you.

CATAC is the nice looking, new orange building on the marina kind of near the Dolphin Center.

Go Back! Go Back! Wrong Way!

A dazed and confused whale entered the Cabo marina this week, just cruising around like it was his own back yard.

At first, we're watching and thinking, boy, this is a big mistake. Then we're thinking, why is this a boo boo? Who going to object to him in the marina? Is somebody going to drop a baited hook? Probably not. But someone might toss him a fish, just like we do with the seals and seagulls. Maybe this big guy wasn't dazed and confused, maybe he was just smart.

But apparently that was not a successful survival strategy because after a few hours he paddled back out to sea, just like he knew where he was all the time.

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